Bullying case: Bullies serve tea, apologise to victim
Source: http://news.malaysia.msn.com/regional/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4833995
Just about everyone was outraged over the recently uploaded Youtube video which depicted the bullying of a female school student. Now the bullies and even their parents have apologised.
Just about everyone was outraged over the recently uploaded Youtube video which depicted the bullying of a female school student. Now the bullies and even their parents have apologised.
The Star, a Malaysian newspaper, reported that parents of three bullies apologised to the victim’s mother in person during a visit to the victim’s house.
Later, the bullies themselves (with their parents present) apologised to the 13-year-old victim at a restaurant. They served her tea as a penitent gesture and shook her hand, vowing not to bully her in the future.
The parents of another bully also intend to deliver their apologies to the victim in person.
In case you weren’t following this story: A Youtube clip showed female school students bullying their classmate. In a horrific scene, they cut her hair and used a tie to choke her.
Four students have been given a 14-day suspension over the incident. Deputy Education Minister Datuk Dr Wee Ka Siong said the penalties were issued following the Education ministry’s guidelines.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Sign in and comment on this issue. Do you think an apology is enough? Are the penalties for the bullies too light, too heavy, or just right? What can be done to prevent incidents like this in the future?
Follow MSN Malaysia News on Twitter (twitter.com/mymsnnews) for breaking news in Malaysia and the world.
I don’t think we can measure the “repentance” in terms of how heavy the penalties are or if an apology is enough, or even if monetary compensation is given.
I think the repentance is enough when it is sincere. Some will wonder how we can measure that, and we can’t, but if there is sincerity in the regret and in the reparative action, then whatever that action is should be enough.
Just my thoughts.
I think it’s important that the bullies learn. Applying regret and remedial actions, such as serving the victim tea and giving a humble apology, could work. Or it’s possible they could be doing it to avoid punishment. In that case would punishing them further make it worse? Maybe as a result they will take it out on the victim, or someone else?
Bullying can have a profound impact on the victim’s mind. But IMO kids just simply don’t know better, they’re still learning many things for the first time. The bullying could also stem from problems at home or their own personal issues. Should really try to examine the situation, apply a method like teaching the bullies exactly why it was wrong in a way they can understand, and not go on a witch hunt. There is no solid object to point blame towards.
The victim should receive more attention than the bullies. The bullies will remember the event and receive the karma back in a way, but it is probably much more intense for the victim. Should let the person know how wrong it was and that they don’t deserve it, and not let it grow as a part of “who they are” all the way through adulthood.
I can’t say whether it’s too light, too heavy or just right. I think it has more to do with whether the bullies realize what they were doing is wrong and not to repeat it again – if they don’t, however heavy the punishment is, it won’t help them.
And as a side story, I’m not sure whether people think with Internet they don’t need to be responsible with what they say, or hide behind a fake identity – a lot of people these days tend to jumped into conclusion, setting up hate page and head hunt, and post harsh comments accordingly, like threatening to slap them, beat them up, ask them to suicide, etc. In my 2-cents of opinion, what they did is no different from the bullies – only that it happens in cyberspace; it’s what’s called cyber bullying.
And it’s not the first time people think they’ve found the culprit(s)’ profile(s) and posted confidently saying they’ve found the culprit, and a lot of people start post harsh comments on the supposing-ly culprit(s)’ facebook wall, and quite a lot repeat the same post of “found the culprit(s)”. But in the end, it turns out it’s a mistaken identity (both in the poor poodle Sushi’s case and this one as well).
From newspaper: http://www.guangming.com.my/node/102876?tid=3
(sorry it’s in Chinese, I tried to translate this one line below):
“我可以說，當時欺負我的人是另外兩名同學，而報章上所寫的幾個人，當時根本不在現場，她們是來自隔壁班的學生，而且我們並不認識。” (What I can say is, the two who bullied me at that time is not the same persons reported in the newspaper, they’re another 2 students; the two reported in newspaper were not at the place that time; they’re from another class, we don’t know each other.)
I watch a Hong Kong TV program before (I can’t remember the name as I just happened to turn on the TV at that time, which I rarely do these days) and on that particular episode talks about cyber bullying, especially among the teenagers. Most of the time, the victims are so traumatized that they’re afraid to go to school and in the end they have to change to another school.
So I really think we need to think carefully before we act, whether cyber space or in reality, we need to be responsible for our own action, ’cause no matter how we run and hide, karma will follow us anywhere we go.