Why are excuses impermanent?
We all have excuses, reasons, justifications and thoughts why we can’t do this and that. We like to sometimes use these excuses and explain to others until we think they think it is valid. They may or may not believe the validity of our reasons, but one thing is for sure, if we believe in our reasons, then we can lose out. We are left behind. No doubt there are people with real genuine reasons, but we have to sift through what is real and what is perceived. Whatever the reasons, the reasons can be changed. Since karma is not fixed, the results can be different if we create new causes. We need to understand that the ‘validity’ behind all reasons are ultimately empty of true, stable permanent reasoning/existence, otherwise there would be no possibility of Buddhahood. Nevermind Buddhahood, if reasons are permanent, then there would be no betterment in the conditions of our daily secular lives. All things seems solid, unchanging and permanent when we sit there and do nothing about it. When we look at our days, it seems nothing much is happening, but when we look back at the past ten or twenty years, plenty of things have happened and changed. We have even aged. Nothing stays the same although its subtle momentary changes occur without being noticed.
Shantideva said that our mindstreams are not restricted to our corporeal forms. The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms. Since our minds do not get old or young, it remains ‘constant’. Since it is constant without age or without ageing, it can learn, adapt and adjust if we choose. To use excuses such as I am too old, too habituated, or this is how I am used to it, really cuts away any sort of betterment we can offer ourselves and others. As I said, nothing is permanent or solid and all are changing; even the mountains, space and our planet earth constantly. If such ‘solid’ items are changing, why can’t our self-imposed restrictions change if we wish it? Of course everything can be changed. No matter what space we are in now, it can be changed for the better since enlightenment does exist. If we cannot change, then we negate Buddhas and their enlightenment. Buddhas during their pre-Buddha days understood all states of mind are impermanent due to their dependence on impermanent factors. Once the factors changed, the results change. Because of this fundamental understanding which is wisdom, they can work towards enlightenment and became Buddhas. This is the same for us and all sentient beings. How can we take refuge in something (Buddha) which we negate. Of course a Buddha cannot be negated, but the illogic of our thinking is crystal clear.
If our mind gets old, then at birth in this life, our mind should be old, cannot learn and cannot adapt. But we all know children adapt and change the easiest the younger they are. But children are birth products of their previous lives that died old. If that is the case, if most of us died when we were old in our previous lives with habits that were ‘solid’ and firm, then how come in this life we can change at birth and at a young age again? If we died old, we should return old. If we died old, how can we return with a young mind? Not logical. Hence there is no age in our mindstreams. Whether our bodies are old or young, our minds stay the same. True, physiologically we can age and certain aggregates are impaired eg. sight, hearing, etc. but the impairment of our aggregates does not necessarily lead to impairment of the mind which is temporarily related to the body but not a part of it. It’s simple, we should all be born old without the abilities to adapt, learn and grow. Some old people and some young people love saying they are too old/habituated to learn this or that. Then if they should pass away, in their immediate next rebirth, shouldn’t they also be too old to learn? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Since it does not make sense, it leads logically to believe our minds do not age and the mind is timeless without impediments from the body. Since our minds are not too old or too habituated to learn, change and transform, shouldn’t we get right on it before we further miss out more? Before we lose more real friends and spiritual brothers and sisters? Before we lose more opportunities? How liberating if we apply this logic immediately.
A sense of urgency is necessary for change. Urgency is the realization of the true nature of our existence. The true nature of existence is – all is not permanent, and when we hold on to permanence, we suffer and make others suffer. That may seem like a simplistic statement, but think about it deeper and perhaps meditate on changes and how in our lives changes brought on fear, trepidations and resistance in many cases. The fear of changes is not brought on by changes as that is the nature of all phenomena, but our resistance to the ultimate truth – that nothing is permanent. Since nothing is permanent, how can anything impermanent be relied upon to bring PERMANENT HAPPINESS leading to peace of mind? Impermanence cannot bring permanence is the simple truth we need to embrace and act upon. Therefore there would be no true lasting happiness in anything we have trusted since nothing we trusted was permanent. There is no point being depressed about this because again our grasping at a permanent solution to happiness relying on impermanent factors is the culprit. This is our real enemy. The reliance is the enemy. This is the main cause to remain in our confused state of existence that yields the unsure impermanent happiness we grasp. This is the true cause of our existence and also the endless rounds of rebirth we must constantly take without end. (For better/extended references and meditations, one should always refer to Lam Rim, Tsongkhapa’s writings, and Shantideva.)
Our lack of urgency comes from the lack of knowledge. Not just any knowledge, but knowledge which is wisdom. Wisdom is the mind that can determine actions that lead to long term cessation of fruitless actions and results. Remember, the end is always the beginning, the begining becomes the end and then it becomes the beginning again and leads to the end again and so on. We shouldn’t limit our spiritual growth or improvements as a human being by blaming it on factors that are changeable. All factors are changeable or at least less difficult if our determination to accomplish it is there. Having wisdom behind the mechanics of change and how we should use impermanence as an inspiration rather than a downer would make all the difference. It would be like instant realization leading to instant betterment of our daily attitudes.
When we wish to accomplish something, it is very important to not complain to others, about others and about our situations. Sympathy is nice, but sympathy can turn to disgust by others towards us if we use it constantly as the reason for failing and not doing something about ourselves. Sympathy is like a heavy loan, we have to pay it back although immediately we enjoy the spending. Not doing something about our situations will estrange more and more people because they run out of sympathy when they know we can do something and we are not doing it.
You see, everyone loves a winner. Everyone despises a loser especially if the loser chooses to be a loser. That is a fact of life whether we like it or not. We can move to ‘greener’ pastures and hope the new set of people’s sympathies will last longer as our skill to elicit sympathy improves, but ultimately we have to believe people are smart and will figure us out even if it takes longer. Then like a nomad, we have to again look for new pastures when sympathies run out. The pastures may not run out, but certainly our time will run out and we lose so much in our moves to newer pastures.
So the best place to change is the place we are in right now. We are familiar and those around us are familiar with us. We don’t have to be on the lookout when we are on familiar ground during our transformation, allowing all our time towards this beautiful metamorphisis. We can change for sure and even inspire others when we embrace what I have shared here. Sympathy can work for or against us depending on how often we use it. So it is better to not use situations to elicit sympathy. Sympathy after all can be used as a weapon of mass self-destruction. Why? With sympathy, we are looking for excuses to stay in our comfort zone which are instrinsically self-damaging, asking others to ‘forgive’ our repetitive ‘mistakes’ which we claim to be mistakes, or forgive our mistakes which were intentional but hidden under the cloak of ‘mistakes’. But if they were truly mistakes, why do we repeat them? Mistakes are done out of ignorance, and once we understand or it has been pointed out to us kindly by others/ourselves, we should stop making mistakes. The end.
Ultimately our minds do not age or become too habituated to ever change. That is illogical. We can change anytime when we realize the timelessness of our minds as explained by the Lord of Yogis, Shantideva. Take refuge in Shantideva’s wisdom which is based on Buddha’s teachings and not the ‘permanence’ of our habits based on wrong views. Our habits whether due to ‘age’ or comfort zones arising from wrong view are all changeable. What a wonderful freedom to realize and act upon this.
Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Only a real friend will tell you this or a real enemy… everyone in between take with a pinch of salt. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Cruelty is not an expression of anger but weakness and selfishness. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
This is exactly what Lord Buddha said. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
I’ve been telling everyone this for years. I ‘ve been telling myself this too. So no point hiding anymore, just let all your hangups go and be kind. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
There is no perfect timing and there is no time to wait, just do it. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
I agree with this.. just move on already.. stop waiting for sympathy and comfort. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Don’t I know this one. I’ve met so many and they really are unique and sometimes fall into these three categories.. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
I believe in this wholeheartedly. You don’t know what a person is going through sometimes. But we shoudn’t always expect and crave kindness, we must give it to get it. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
This applies to everyone. Our thoughts really do run our lives and sometimes we have to change our thoughts in order to change our lives. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
This applies to everyone who feels misunderstood and wants more understanding than they give in results. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Must stick it through and be loyal. Don’t give up so fast. Because when you give up, you give up on yourself too. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Our subconscious is always listening. Our subconscious forms the conscious. Our conscious acts out in speech and actions. These in turn affect everyone and everything around us. So we must first start without thoughts. If not, our lives will be one endless round of sympathy-seeking selfish egos not achieving anything much and then our time here is over. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Sometimes we have to just let some people go. Letting them go is not that we are not compassionate, it’s that we are not helping them and vice versa at this time. It’s sad to see someone go, but it’s sadder to see ourselves let everyone go instead. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
How simple, clear and profound is this truth? If we just remember this daily, we will be better off immediately. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Not being kind because of someone who hurt you is the wrong reason to justify to yourself to be cold, cunning and hurtful. Be kind because it is the message you send to yourself. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Ego is the mind that wishes the best for itself at the expense of everyone else. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
How many times have we done that and lived to regret it? Solution, winning isn’t the name of the game so let the other person win, release the anger and think: another mistake is not going to rectify the current problems. Cool down and make good decisions when the anger has dissipated. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
I believe this 100%! Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Loneliness is not lacking of people around you but being overly selfish at the expense of others also. Tsem Rinpoche
__________________________________________________________
Never sit by and let it happen and keep quiet. Never. Tsem Rinpoche
_________________________________________________________
为何藉口是无常的？
对于我们为何无法完成某件事请，我们每个人都有许多藉口、理由、辩词和想法来为自己开脱。我们有时喜欢向他人解释我们的藉口，直到我们以为他们已经认同了这些理由为止。他们也许相信，也许不信我们的理由，但有一点却是肯定的，如果我们自己也相信了这些理由，那我们就输了。我们就落后于他人了。无可否认，有些人确实拥有真实的理由，但我们必须加以分辨，哪一些是真的理由，哪一些只是认知上的理由。然而，无论是什么理由，都有可能改变。既然因果不是固定不变的，就意味着当我们创造了新的因，就会带来不同的果。我们必须明白，若从究竟的层面上看来，一切原因背后的“真实性”，其实并不具有真实、稳定、恒久的理由/存在，不然我们就不会有成佛的可能性了。姑且不谈成佛这件事，如果一切原因都是永恒不变的，那我们每天的世俗生活也就不会有改进的空间了。如果我们只是坐着，什么都不做，一切事物看起来都会是固定、不变和永恒的。看看我们的生活，似乎并没有发生什么大事，但当我们回顾过去的十年、二十年时，你会发现许多事物都已经发生，也已经改变了，就连我们也已经老了。没有什么是不变的，尽管那也许是一些细微到甚至不被察觉的改变。
寂天菩萨说，我们的心识流并不被我们的肉体形式所局限。心识其实是自由的，独立于我们的肉体，而对于无色界众生来说，则根本没有肉体可言。既然我们的心识并不会变老或变年轻，它就是“稳定”的。既然它是稳定的，没有年龄，也不会老化，那它就能够学习、适应和调适，如果我们选择了那么做。以“我太老了”、“太习惯了”、“我一直都如此”种种作为藉口，只会断送我们为自己和他人改进的机会。诚如我所说，没有什么是永恒不变或始终坚固的，一切都在改变，即便是山丘、空间和地球也一样。既然那么“坚固”的物体都在改变，若我们有心，那些我们加诸在自己身上的限制为什么就不能改变呢？当然，一切都可以改变。既然证悟是存在的，就意味着无论我们身处什么空间，它都能变得更好。若我们不能改变，我们就等于是否定了佛陀及证悟的存在。众佛在成佛之前就已经明白，一切的心境都是无常的，因为他们所依赖的因素是无常的。只要因素改变，结果也会改变。正因为有了这个基础认知，即智慧，他们才能朝向证悟努力，最终成佛。这对于我们和一切众生来说都是一样的。我们怎能向一个自己所否定的对象（佛）寻求皈依呢？当然，佛是无法被否定的，但我们思维当中的非逻辑性却昭然若揭。
如果心识会变老，那么我们这辈子刚出世时，心识早就该已经老化，再无法学习和适应了。然而，我们都知道，越是年幼的儿童，其适应和改变的能力也越强。儿童是他们的前世在老死之后的“产物”。若真如此，假设我们多数人的前世都带着“固定”不变的习性直至老死，为什么在这一世，我们却能在出世之后就改变，且变得年轻呢？如果我们在老年时期才死亡，我们理应投生为老人。如果我们死亡时已经是个老人，又怎可能带着一个年轻的心识回来呢？那并不合理。因此，我们的心识流是没有年龄的。无论我们的身体年轻或年老，我们的心识都始终不变。是的，在生理上，我们确实会变老，某些感官功能如视觉、听觉等都会退化，但这些感官功能的退化，并不一定导致心识的退化。心识只不过暂时与我们的身体有关，却并不是身体的一部分。不然，我们一出世应该就已经老得没有能力去适应、学习和成长了。有些老年人和年轻人常爱说，他们太老了/太习惯了，以至于无法学习新事物。若真如此，当他们死亡后，他们的下一个投生，是不是也应该同样老到无法学习呢？这一点都不合理，对吧？既然这种推论不合理，那么按照逻辑推论，我们的心识并不会老化，它既没有时限，也不受肉体所限制。既然我们不会由于心识过老，或出于习性而无法学习、改变和转化，那我们是不是应该即刻就纠正它，以免错过更多呢？我们是不是应该在失去更多真正的朋友或灵修上的兄弟姐妹前，或在我们失去更多机会之前就纠正它？若我们当下就将这逻辑付诸实践，我们就能得到解放。
改变，需要迫切感。迫切感来自于对存在本质的觉悟。存在的本质即是“一切都是无常的”，若我们紧抓着永恒不放，不仅我们痛苦，我们也会给别人带来痛苦。这看来也许只是简单的一句话，但我们要深入去思考、冥想关于改变这回事；我们要冥想在生命中的许多时刻，那些“改变”所带给我们的恐惧、颤抖和抗拒感。对改变所产生的恐惧，并不源自改变本身，因为改变乃一切现象的本质。这种恐惧其实源自我们对究竟实相——事物的无常本质——的抗拒。既然一切都是无常的，我们又怎可能期待无常的事物能带给我们永恒的快乐，继而带来内心的宁静呢？“无常不可能带来永恒”是一个简单的道理，却是我们必须谨记和遵循的真理。因此，我们过去所信赖的任何事物都无法带来真实持久的快乐，因为那些事物本身并不永恒。我们无需为此感到忧郁，因为同样的，我们企图依赖无常的因素来追寻快乐，并对此紧抓不放，这才是问题的关键。这才是我们真正的敌人。这种依赖本身就是敌人。这是导致我们一直停留在模糊的存在状态当中，继续紧抓着那些不确定兼无常的快乐不放的主因。这是我们存在的真正原因，也是让我们陷于无限轮回转世的原因。（想要更深入地研读或禅修，应时常参考《菩提道次第》、宗喀巴大师和寂天菩萨的著作。）
缺乏迫切感是由于我们缺乏知识。这里指的并非一般的知识，而是智慧。智慧是一种心识，它能决定我们的行为，让我们永久地终结那些无效的行动和成果。记得，结束就是开始，而开始也会走向结束，然后再一次的开始和结束，如此不断地循环重复。我们不应怪罪于那些不断改变的因素，而限制了自己在灵修或人性上的成长。一切的因素都会改变，然而如果我们有心要完成它，情况至少就会变得不那么难。如果我们能以智慧作为改变背后的机制，若我们能视无常为推动力而非泄气的因素，那就会造成很大的差别。就像瞬间的觉悟，能立刻改变我们的生活态度。
当我们想要完成某件事时，我们必须不在他人面前抱怨别人和我们的处境。同情是好的，但如果我们时常以它作为失败或不改善自己的藉口，久而久之，别人对我们的同情也会逐渐变成反感。同情就像是一个巨大的债务，虽然它能供我们暂时挥霍，我们最终还是必须一一奉还。不改善我们的情况，将导致越来越多人疏远我们，因为当他们知道我们有能力却不愿去完成某件事的时候，他们的同情心也将随之消失。
人人都爱成功者。每个人都瞧不起失败者，尤其是当事人自己选择当个失败者的时候。无论我们喜欢与否，这就是人生的现实。我们可以“另谋出路”，并希望随着我们更擅长博取同情心的同时，新一伙人对我们的同情心能更为持久。然而，我们最终还是要相信，人们的眼睛是雪亮的，他们迟早会发现真相。然后，就像游牧民族一样，当他人的同情心耗尽的时候，也就是我们得再“另谋出路”的时候。你或许还会找到“出路”，但肯定的是，我们的时间也会因此而耗尽，而在“另谋出路”的过程中，我们也错失了许多。
因此，做出转变的最佳地点，就是我们现处的地方。我们熟悉这里，身边的人也熟悉我们。在转化的过程中身处熟悉的环境，我们便无需提高警惕，继而才能充分投入于美丽的蜕变当中。若我们能充分把握我在这里跟大家分享的一切，我们必然能改变，甚至还能启发他人。同情心既能帮助我们，也会拖累我们，这全视乎我们使用它的频率有多高。因此，我们最好还是不要利用自己的情境来博取他人的同情心。这些同情心，最终将成为大规模自我毁灭性武器。为什么呢？因为有了这些同情心，我们便会找寻藉口，继续匿身在那具有自我伤害性本质的舒适地带，我们会恳求他人“原谅”那些我们一再犯下的“过失”（我们宣称那是过失），或是恳求他人原谅我们那个以“过失”之名，事实上却是有意犯下的过失。如果那真的是过失，我们为何会一而再，再而三地重犯呢？过失行为乃源自无知，然而，一旦我们意识到自己的错误，抑或他人已好心地指出了我们的错误，那么我们理应停止犯下同样的过错。仅此而已。
我们的心识根本不会老去，也不会出于习气而无法做出改变。这是不合乎逻辑的。若我们能够理解寂天菩萨所讲述的“心识不受时间所影响”，则我们随时都能做出改变。我们应皈依寂天菩萨的智慧，因为这些智慧源自佛陀的教诲，而不是去皈依我们“恒久”且源自邪见的习气。无论我们的习气是“年龄”所致，抑或出自邪见所衍生出的舒适地带，它都是能改变的。若能理解这个道理，并且依法实践，这是何等可贵的自由。
詹仁波切
We make excuses for our own convenience, selfishness and that our needs require to come first. Observing how dharma borthers and sisters work in a project can tell us more than we need to know – they are true to their Guru, practice and themselves.
Some of us struggle through making these excuses. Some of us make them blindly without a single thought of others. This arises from our ignorance for we have not thought of them before us.
May I continue to strive to remind myself not to make any more excuses and just go and act upon it. Thank you, Rinpoche for the teaching and reminder. I love all those very meaningful Quotes and your elaboration of them. I can contemplate on them for they are deep, useful and meaningful and share them.
May, I like what you said. It is so true that everyday we make excuses, looking for reasons and if lucky , we may have a true story of saying: “I CANNOT..” but you know what.. even a true story serve as an excuse for us to stay in our confort zone of not wanting to do more.
Our thought run our lives. That means we are in control. We cannot stop all the excuses that we made but we can reduce it by cutting off 1 excuse a day. Very soon you will realize that those excuses were just our inner fear that served no meaning in our lives. Without those excuses, we will find peacefulness and happiness.
Thank you Rinpoche.
This is truly words of wisdom. With this piece of writing in mind, we must not let our ‘limitations’ stop us from pursuing the truth. Understanding and believing in impermanence is the first step for us to step out of our comfort zone knowing that we will never remain in the same position no matter how comfortable we are. Then it will be much easier for us to accept changes and not resist changes.
This in turn will set our minds free from our self applied limitations. When we can accept changes we will push ourselves out of our ‘limitations’ to try something we have never tried before, something new. When we are able to do so, we are more confident of going further to push our limitations. Slowly but surely then we get rid of this wall and then the limitations will no longer exist.
Benefits are boundless when we achieve the above. We no longer will give lame excuses of why we cannot succeed in tasks given to us no matter how small or big. When given a task especially in our Dharma practice, we will accept it happily no matter how ‘tough’ because we know our limitations we had in the past were merely an illusion. With great effort, determination and integrity we can achieve anything. Like how Rinpoche mentioned, we can achieve the qualities of the Buddhas and Enlightenment, its just a case whether we want to or not.
Thank you Rinpoche, I reallly enjoyed this writing full of reminders, wisdom, and genuine kindness.
The word “trap” is my favorite analogy Rinpoche used recently, I think. When I look for “traps” it becomes a little clearer of what is NOT a good idea. And for me at least it’s not “trap” in the anxiety/ego sense of “I want my freedom!” but in the sense of “will this trap my mind, make me stupid, make the truth invisible, leave me open to suffering.” The thought of trapping one’s mind actually scares me, and I don’t think that would go away with having a wife and kids, watching TV, golfing, and so forth.
A lot of people are still hanging to a Past, whether it was a good one of a terrible one. If we experience something terrible and hurtful that happened in the past, we use it as a reason for the way we are now and if we do receive the expected level of sympathy we then get hurt or angry. If the past was a dismal failure, we hang on to that failure and feel inadequate and insecure and use that as alibis why we cannot get results or perform to a certain level now.
Or perhaps we are hanging to past glory days or past success which led to the development of expectations to be treated a certain and when we do receive the same treatment as we did on the past we get upset. Or it could also be a past method we we employed to some degree of success or appearance of success which we are still trying to use although things have changed.
Very likely it is all of the above to varying degrees and we combine them into one toxic brew that we drink every day which explains why we have not moved on and progressed in our development. Whatever it is we, are hanging on to something that is no longer there and was never meant to be there forever. But either we failed to see that or refused to accept it. So we end up in a lot of emotional turmoil and we impose the same on others.
The thing is, we can no longer say we we don’t know what went wrong. The fact is we do, but perhaps we are still expecting external people and conditions to change instead of changing our thoughts (which is probably due to ego, fear and laziness) which changes the way we look at everything in life.
The urgency to change is very real not only at the practical level seeing that every minute we refuse to change we are robbing ourselves because ultimately people give up not because they are unkind but because they too have their own sets of problems to deal with and we might even already become too much of a baggage for them to carry. Also conditions allowing us to change may not be there anymore in the next minute. If we suddenly die before we get a change to create new karma to change our live, it is a horrible thought to know that we will be reborn with the same negative mindset to experience the same mental torture again.
Thank you for this teaching Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche for sharing such important teachings. It has arrived timely for me.
Before I met Rinpoche, I had the impression that Buddhism is pessimistic and the practitioners just “let things be”. This blog post really teaches the world what it really means to be a Buddhist, to be the source to benefit all beings.
Also, I keep saying things are impermanent, yet when I look at the problems I am facing, I thought they are permanent. This post also reminds me that the limitations I put on my own is impermanent and it is up to me to break them and excel.
Excuses are impermanent because, no matter how much excuses you make, there is always someone to do the same job without excuses!
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this teaching which i shared in this morning’s Kechara Sunday Talk. It is so true that we are just limited with our perceptions of what we can or cannot do. I have many friends who are in their mid forties/early fifties who say that they are too old to do many things. And these are samsaric and commonly acceptable as ‘pleasurable’ activities like going trekking or skiing, let alone doing Dharma work!! I have always thought that these limitations are just limitations we put on ourselves because of our limited perceptions. Rinpoche’s explanation of how our minds are reborn over and over again and that they are actually ageless is logical and easy to understand. Everyone should read this and contemplate how each of us put limitations on ourselves, change our perceptions and take actions to create positive results. I definitely will. Change is up to us – and that is actually so empowering.
Thank you Rinpoche.
Yes, it’s very logic that if our mind have age, then we should know everything when we were born. MIND has no limit, and everything is impermanent. That’s what I learn from this post.
We shouldn’t set limit or barrier of what we can do and how much we can do, we should always look forward to explore things out in order to do more for others. Any fear that hold us back, if it arises from our selfish point of view, is our obstacles to receive more Dharma.
We need to develop a good mind, for our future lifes to continue our spiritual journey.
Dear Rinpoche, thank you for such a long post.
I do agree that logically that age is not an excuse for change, nor any excuse is valid for the mind to change at all. It is basically just people who cannot see that it is possible to change even despite the imaginary barriers they have put up for themselves. If these barriers can be broken, they can then change easily and the tool to do this is knowledge and wisdom like what Rinpoche has highlighted.
Thank you Rinpoche for reminding all of us on how and what we should be.
As they said rules are made to be broken. If the barriers have been made to protect now it has become a hindrance because we cannot see what is outside nor inside. The barriers have been built to be very strong over a long period of time. To break the barrier an equal or even more effort is required. There is no easy way to break barrier. Why? It takes time and effort to fashion the tools. Change happen in the process in the journey, it is happening now, not when the barrier comes down or broken.
It is very logic and true that our minds have no limits and it is ageless. It is when we set limitations to ourselves and give excuses after excuses with all the justifications that cause us not to succeed. Our laziness and fear is due to our selfishness and ego. In order for us to excel and achieve positive results we have to break our limited perceptions, push ourselves forth and have a positive mental disposition.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teachings and all the meaningful quotes.
Thank you Rinpoche for such lovely and profound quotes.
If excuses weren’t impermanent, we wouldn’t change for the better.
It’s because all states of mind are impermanent, we can change and transform our way to Enlightenment.
Ultimately, our minds are ageless and timeless and not too habituated to ever change. The mind can learn,adapt,and adjust to become who we choose to be.
Such positive thoughts about the power of the mind!I love them.
Pastor Han Nee, ya, i like the way you called it -The Power of Mind. It’s we who set the limit and excuses for things in life. Thanks Rinpoche for the teaching
This is such an profound explanation, teaching and distillation of Shantideva’s wisdom on how the mind operates. It seems that our minds are very quick and prone towards providing us with lots of excuses to fail. I think it expose a lot of excuses I have been telling myself for many years now and how little I have accomplish because of these excuses. I am not old but there are many other limitations that we tell ourselves/myself such as I am too new or that I am not capable of doing more etc.
There are many quotes here but I guess the most important and relevant quote, I would say would be the last one about keeping quiet. I think that’s one of the most important as Malaysians are generally not very vocal about their feelings and thoughts. Hence, many a times, people fail to voice their opinion when it is necessary especially when it means that their reputation or anything else is at stake. So whatever is expressed in public may seem contrived or it could even sound overly diplomatic. I say this not to criticize or to say that I am above it as I am Malaysian too. Therefore, I find myself challenging myself to express particularly in important meetings like the liaison council meetings and so forth. Its not easy but an important training.
Reading through this, I find that I have varying degrees of all points written here. I have to take charge of them and make changes before this life runs out and my unchanged thoughts are brought forth to another lifetime of endless unhappiness.
Thank you, Rinpoche.
Rinpoche, thank you so much for your guidance. Very precious.
The problem we may seem permanent is because we are focusing just the problem, even a small problem will become big problem, but when we step back from the problem we facing, open up our eyes and look further, we will then realize how small we are to just focus on our little tiny problem here. When we look back few years ago, or few months ago, those things that stop us from moving forward, they has already become history and we do not look at it as is so troubled as that time, so problems and difficulties are not permanent.
We must stop being the listener of our negative mind, we must stop our negative mind from telling us things, because even our motivation is positive, but with a negative mindset, + & – will become negative.
Our mind is the main culprit, they uses our body condition to play with their game, it keep finding excuses to continue to stay in comfort zone, when young, there will be reason no to do things, when grown up, there are other sets of excuses and when we gets old, there is all sorts of reasons. Then when we look back, we will live with regrets and regrets create anger and unhappiness.
Thank you Rinpoche for the teaching.
Our failure is often caused by us not believing in ourselves or because we are lazy due to our selfishness. thank you Rinpoche for constantly giving us teachings on the possibility of us becoming successful and setting example for us to follow. With persistency and determination, we will make ours and others’ lives better.
This is an article that teaches us not to put limitations on ourselves, which in many circumstances limit our transformations.
Many times we create reasons that may or may not be true, and when we validate that reasons, we limit our learning for betterment.
I agree with the latter part of what Rinpoche has said about sympathy. Many of us like to create the situations and hope that people will feel bad about us so that we do not have to do something. Some of them may be valid, but some of them are not. Keep creating excuses not only limit our own growth but also make people start to see the truth inside us – that we are simply lazy. People are smart, we may lie once, twice but after a few times people will feel disgusted, and there are not many green pastures that we can move on.
Our making-use-of-others will turn the sword back towards us. And we lose the relationships. What goes around comes around.
It’never too old to try anything new, it’s never too late to change any habits, if I am looking for a better me, a beneficial me to myself and others. The example of mind not aged with or limited by our body is logic and clear the reasoning. I like it, thank you Rinpoche.
I am glad I am not giving up even though I always weaken in front of challenges. Thanks for my Guru for always sending in inspiration messages to motivate and inspire me.
Shantideva’s teaching on our mindstreams is very profound. Everything comes from the mind, and it may go from one life to another life, it is ‘constant’, without age or without aging. So, it can be learn, adapt and adjust.
If we set excuses and the limit for ourselves, we will not be able to improve and benefit others. So, if we want to benefit others, then we should not set the limit for ourselves by saying we cannot.
To change, we need to have a sense of urgency. While to have urgency, we would need to have knowledge and wisdom. “Wisdom is the mind that can determine actions that lead to long term cessation of fruitless actions and results. ” This really need a lot of knowledge to get to this level of wisdom.
May i have the wisdom to see through the sufferings of fruitless actions and have the strength to change for the better and able to benefit more people.
“Shantideva said that our mindstreams are not restricted to our corporeal forms. The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms. Since our minds do not get old or young, it remains ‘constant’. Since it is constant without age or without ageing, it can learn, adapt and adjust if we choose. To use excuses such as I am too old, too habituated, or this is how I am used to it, really cuts away any sort of betterment we can offer ourselves and others.”
我非常喜欢这句话, 牢牢记住这句话到死，我相信我们会越来越好。还有“don’t make a permanent decision for a temporary emotion”，记得不要让情感影响你当作出决定时。
Thank you Rinpoche.
Dear Rinpoche
The collections of quote above are the things that have crossed my mind and/ or the conclusion I reached through some contemplation in the past. Surprisingly, my conclusions and the above quotes are pretty consistent with one another. I am not someone who easily believe in things or do things without knowing the reasons. having reach the above conclusions through contemplations made it easier to accept and adopt them.
Going through these contemplation process help me to prioritize what is important, as what I thought was important, things that hurt or made me fear so much in the past have shifted and from that I know that all things are impermanent.. And I am a much happier person today than what I was in the past.
Valentina
In another word, if we were to remain in our comfort zone, our habit will become so old that it made us sink further into the bottomless pit. If we do not do something about it while we have this precious human body, these old habits we have will trigger unfavourable results that will lead us toward the lower realms. When we are caught in that situation, we are intellectually disabled, which means we’ll continue to create more unfavourable causes that will pull us further away from making any positive changes.
When we think something is impossible and that we can never achieve it, it is the right moment for us to do the opposite, the only chance we have to clear this habit once and for all, so that we are safe and protected from being harm by it. Think about it, when we do not have the ability to think, we’ll not be able to learn new knowledge and that we’ll continue to do what others are doing. We could just be like a person in a sinking boat, we do everything to cause the boat to sink faster and not knowing what will happen to us.
Laziness in doing anything virtuous is very deeply rooted in most of our mind. It’ll distant us from our virtuous friends, our Gurus, the Three Jewels and Enlightenment; a chance to break the vicious cycle of suffering: suffering from taking rebirth constantly, suffering for not getting what we want, suffering from not being able to be with who we wanted to, suffering to always have to be with those we do not want to, suffering sickness, old age and death, suffering from change.
So what will a wise one do?
Dear Rinpoche,
What I learnt from this article is that I always give excuses for myself to change, like I’m too tired, I’m too busy, I don’t have enough time… But things keep changing when I give all these excuses, or when I keep waiting for the good timing. The fact is, things come and go and keep changing as this is the truth of existence ,if I just keep waiting or not willing to change, time and things are still going on, no one would wait for me. Even if I resist to change, things around me are still changing. So no point to hold on the emotions and think that everything would be the same when my mood turn better.
Everything in my life are not in my control, except my own emotion and mind. These are what I could control. Whether is for me myself or for others, I should go all the way no matter in what aspect and always put Dharma in my heart with me to go all the way in everything. This is what I could do and control for sure, no one could take it away from me. Ad this is what I look for in my life, something indestructible. Thank you Rinpoche for your teachings.
This advice from rinpoche resonates deeply within me. Having not accomplished any of what rinpoche has advised, I find that the following key points have been with me for sometime, even since childhood.
Firstly, about change. When i was just a kid, my mother always told me “god helps those who help themselves”. She wasn’t an overly religious woman, and that was just her way of telling me to work hard and don’t rely on prayers for results (as many locals do). However, to me it meant that if I wanted to accomplish something, I could, as long as I put my mind and effort to it. That stays with me till this day.
Next, about sympathy. From certain experiences in childhood, I always knew that no one gives you respect. You have to earn it. Along that rather difficult journey, I learnt to not care what others thought, and to believe in myself. To succeed without relying on others goodwill or help. And forget about sympathy – nothing comes of it. Only success will gain you respect, if that’s what you want.
Lastly, impermanence. This was a new term I learned only after coming to Kechara. However, as a child, I remember wondering where I would go after I died, and that thought really scared me. i must have been about 5years old. Even then, the idea of impermanence was frightening to me – a person with no belongings or assets, nor even an idea of what ownership meant. It goes to show that grasping to things that are impermanent is really a problem we all have to deal withdrawn no matter which stage we are at in our lives. And the sooner we deal with it the better.
Love all the inspiration quotes!
‘Shantideva said that our mindstreams are not restricted to our corporeal forms. The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms. Since our minds do not get old or young, it remains ‘constant’. Since it is constant without age or without ageing, it can learn, adapt and adjust if we choose.’ – I have been contemplating on this and found it useful as a reminder not to let physical body limit our potential.
Strongly agree that our mind is timeless. We need to learn and change not matter what age, everything surround us is keep on changing but we are not aware it. When look back pass 10 years, a lot of things had changed and we might lost something too.
Really appreciate that Rinpoche keep on remind us. Nothing is permanent including happiness, no more excuse to change it for our better life and also bring happiness to others.
Our failures were created and caused by us setting obstacles to ourselves by setting limits to ourselves saying i cannot, i can’t do this i can’t do that. But in actuality if we went ahead to do it by being determination, persistency and believing in ourselves to do it, we will realise it is not so difficult after all. Due to our laziness and a fixed thinking that we will not be able to complete a particular project is already a failure for me from the start.
Thank you Rinpoche for this teaching. This is so applicable to everyone of us in this world.
I think we all know that excuses are impermanent and that all that we experience is a passing phenomena. But what makes us fixated on something or not being able to transform or move on is because of the labels we put on ourselves and also wanting to remain in the comfort zone due to familiarization and laziness.
For example, we fool our minds that we are architects, hence we don’t can’t be good farmers. Or we are mathematicians hence we can’t be athelete. These are self imposed labels we put on ourselves that hinders our growth. Or we think just because one is a nun, they have the potential to benefit others more and we can’t. Labels and wrong projections.
Wanting to remain in the comfort zone is another key reason. The person may not be in a physically comfortable situation yet chooses to remain due to fear of exploring something new to try better ones situation. They end up just complaining and not wanting to change although they verbally express their poor situation. It is due to fear of rejection or failure and simply just too lazy to think out of the box and being comfortable in that familiar situation.
The inspirational quotes will just remain as words made out of alphabets if we choose it to. The same goes for our situation, we can remain in our comfort zone or step out as illustrated in one of the photos above depicting luscious green trees outside the tunnel.
I guess I have to be the first to admit I use excuses which I try to justify because they seem important to me. But after reading this post I realise that’s exactly what they are…excuses. Something happens in everyday life and we put everything aside because at the time it seems important….and we cleverly justify those things. I used to think of myself as an adult who made the right decisions but recently I feel just the opposite. I have not made many good decisions in my life and I think I camouflaged it all with justification and excuses…and to the material world…it held up. But inside I think I may have let myself down. Thank you for this Rinpoche…I learn more about myself everyday. Sometimes, the not so good things. But that is a learning process as well. My Tibetan name means Holding the Dharma with wisdom…I think I know why you gave me that name. Its time for me to wisen up
Love always Nadia
Dear Rinpoche ,
Thank you for this precious teaching, it is so rare for someone to constantly remind you of your true potential when all around you are people who constantly say they can’t do this and they can’t do that. So used to such conditioning that we almost believe that is true , such is the nature of samsara , we follow the masses until we meet one amongst us who is different . And inspired we are .
Dear Tsem Rinpoche,
Thank you for sharing with all the beautiful quotes and words wisdom. It has bring me benefits and encouragement . Sometimes human tend to be selfish, ego and stubborn. I believe that thingswill change with guidance and encouragement given.
I am trying my very best to change and become better and not to give myself many excuses.
Regards,
Venix
“The mind is actually free and independent of our bodies or lack of it in the case of formless realms.” I still have difficulty grasping this teaching. I really learnt from this article Rinpoche wrote that as we get older we get lazier, and the best excuse we always use to escape any hardwork, responsibility, act and chores we’d always use the common phrase “I am getting too old”. I do not want to be this kind of person as I grow older. Its really inspiring me to work harder and to never give up. Thank you Rinpoche.
Thank you Rinpoche for the sharing.Your constant reminder are true words of an enlighten one who have seen it and actually re experience it within this life time and glimpse of the pass.Our limitation are due to our selfishness, the restriction we set on our self for our weakness and lack of commitment to perform what is due. In fact we should view impermanence as a second chance to redeem our self as there is still time to change before it is too late.We might not be so fortunate the next time around ,as for this precious human life ,we might not be able to meet up with Dharma the next life.
Thank you Rinpoche for the reminder.
Thanks Rinpoche for the precious teaching and remind.
Life is impermanent, we always know but not contemplate deeply and practice ourself. When others meet some trouble we will always say all this all that is impermanent. But when the trouble come to ourself we will always blame this blame that and forget about “impermanent”.
May our ignorance being cut off quickly and contemplate deeply the word “impermanent” then make it to be our daily practice…
Dear Rinpoche,
There are so many excuses I use in my life and work. How people treat me, how people behave, how people work, should not be the way I treat people, how I work; or how I react – whether to avoid or to face challenges.
The moment I decided not to avoid, run away from or using negative attitude to face anything or anyone that “make” me feel uncomfortable, immediately the feeling of uncomfortable, irritating or any negative feeling reduce so much. And I feel so much better and harmony inside.
No one blocking me in front of happiness or peace of mind, except me myself. happy or not is always my choice. When I choose to face the things/people that “make” me uncomfortable, not only make myself happier, people around me also happier. It’s so much worth choosing to face my uncomfortable rather than avoidance. With this, I was released from my fear, uneasy and uncomfortable.
Thank you Rinpoche for your teachings.
With folded hands,
Wah Ying
Dearest Rinpoche,
This post here is literally Lamrim 101 watered down so easily for ant dummy like me to understand.
Nothing is permanent, it is only our self grasping it, thinking it’s permanent is what makes us suffer and stay stagnant. Anything new will become old, every beginning has an ending and every ending is a new beginning. There is nothing to be hopeless, helpless about, there is nothing we cannot change. There certainly isn’t anything we cannot learn or relearn…
Life certainly gives us many chances to learn, but the wrong thinking that we have time, it what makes us miss the opportunities and change the course of our results… hence the time is not tomorrow but NOW.
If we can live by this profound teachings, advice, words of wisdom… our lives, actions and daily conduct would certainly be different.
There is so much in this post, that I can and will read it again and again and share it with others.
I love all the quotes! Thank you Rinpoche xj
Not only excuses, but everything is impermanent and changeable as the Buddha has taught. As humans, our limitation is due perhaps to our confused state of mind in hanging on to “impermanent happiness” we grasp at, all the time, because of the lack of true wisdom knowledge. As explained, “wisdom is the mind that can determine actions which lead to long term cessation of fruitless actions and results.” We should strive to use the wisdom to accomplish a mechanism of change to enhance our spiritual growth or improvements, rather than using a lot of excuses to provide failures for ourselves in our everyday life. As impermanence is the hallmark of our life, yes, it should be used as an inspiration rather than a downer to further enhance our spiritual growth towards enlightenment, as the ultimate aim for a permanent and perfect life.
[...] http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/why-are-excuses-impermanent.h... Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. [...]
Thank you Rinpoche for this profound teaching.I love all those meaningful quotes and they are all very true.
Dear Rinpoche,
I have recently re-read this post again after I had more internal turmoil as a result of my own stupidity and lack of care and gratitude towards people around me even though they have been extremely kind to me in more ways than one. Somehow i came to this post and I got the answers to the questions that I have been asking myself and at the end of the day all I have to do is to change my attitude like what Rinpoche has shared here and it is what I am in the process of doing. Things have changed and I see people around me differently, instead of keep feeling poor me and that it is the fault of other people hurting me, i realize that they are hurt too and the pain i experience is the same as them and i should not just focus on my own pain but also of theirs as well and do whatever it takes to make things up to them and apologize sincerely and never repeat whatever I have done to hurt them by always remembering how much pain it cost them and how much pain it cost me as well. Not wanting to do something about it in the short term seems to be good but karma does catch up and it does result in unhappiness.
I prostrate humbly to Rinpoche and I submit fully to Rinpoche’s instructions.
I can’t read this motivational stuff, because then I start taking action which annoys a lot of people who would prefer to stay asleep. :3
Rinpoche recently gave a teaching about the importance of having confidence and belief in ourselves and NOT putting ourselves and our potential down. I thought perhaps this might help readers if I shared it here, as it does relate to this blog post about making excuses, complaining and getting stuck.
Rinpoche had explained that for true Vajrayogini practitioners, the 24 holy dakinis of Vajrayogini’s entourage come to reside within the body of practitioner to bless their energy channels and drops. This also opens up the causes for the practitioner to achieve their same enlightened state, which is of course the same as Vajrayogini’s – a fully enlightened Buddha.
When we put ourselves down, say we cannot or make excuses for not achieving more, then we are directly or indirectly saying that we are not worthy of the 24 dakinis coming to reside within us; it is saying that we cannot be enlightened and we deny our own potential. It is like saying that we have a horrible house, it’s messy, it’s small, it’s inconvenient – would any important person then want to come to visit our home? Not likely. In the same way, when we say that we are worthless, unable to do anything, full of self-loathing, we are saying that we are not worthy vessels of something more, something higher – enlightenment.
On a physical level, when we make these excuses, we allow ourselves to remain lazy, stagnant and within a comfort zone. We say we cannot, so we don’t do it at all. So we stay stuck wherever we are. On a karmic level, we open the causes to be further away from higher attainments and enlightenment. This is logical. If we continuously say we cannot do more, don’t believe in ourselves, refuse to better ourselves etc, that is in direct contradiction to the very nature of the enlightened mind, which is able to do everything! We could just think: would Vajrayogini sit and moan about not being able to do something? Or would she get up and try 108 ways to achieve it? Would Vajrayogini sit around hating herself, feeling incapable, stay stuck and stagnant? No, she probably wouldn’t. So if we’re trying to achieve enlightenment – which is Vajrayogini’s state of mind – then shouldn’t we be aspiring towards being like her now? acting and reacting like her? We don’t become Vajrayogini by a sudden switch of a button. We start becoming her now, in our every action, decision and thought. Practice, til perfect.