I just couldn’t live your life
My parents were 100% against me to follow dharma, study dharma or do dharma in any way. They told me I have to get a real job, real career and make myself respectable. They told me if I did dharma or become a monk, they would lose face and disown me. I didn’t want to do dharma to go against them, but I could not LIVE THEIR version of happiness. To live their ideals of life, happiness and what is right. I just couldn’t. For not obeying them, they made me pay many heavy prices. I didn’t enjoy the punishments, threats and pain they inflicted on me, but it would have been more painful to do what they wanted me to do. I made a choice, that I have to do what’s in my heart and if they don’t agree, I am sorry. I mean no disrespect. I will pay the dues and go all the way. I did what I wanted. And I continue to.
Tsem Rinpoche
My natural mother never spoke to me again. My step parents disowned me. After I became a monk, they never spoke to me again until both of them passed away. I miss my mother and step parents. But I still have to do what I have to do. My step parents said I am a shame and I went the wrong way. They never communicated with me ever. TR
Cuddle Cuddle ^^,
How would you like to repay kindness to your nature or step parents? The way of Venerable Master Hsuan Hua did really inspiring me. I hope you like it. http://books.google.com.my/books?id=A5y3Evlw2Z0C&pg=PA24&lpg=PA24&dq=hsuan+hua+bow+parents&source=bl&ots=DI4u4_CNWY&sig=ESNCj5BTOmsCqWhI0VW3lg1ZFOI&hl=en&sa=X&ei=BPAeT6-aKYuziQei7cGFDg&ved=0CCMQ6AEwAQ
“I will pay the dues and go all the way. I did what I wanted. And I continue to. ”
This really touched me. My mum asked me to quit my job yesterday. I feel sorry and bad for not asking her the reason and telling her what is in my mind. But yes, Im clear and firm for what Im doing now. I know what I want. I must go all the way!
We are so fortunate, the freedom to choose what we want but we choose to make obstacles for ourselves
Compared with Rinpoche and many monks who live in very bad condition, I believe as a fulltime dharma worker in Malaysia can be consider very lucky. Many monks who live in monasteries they are devoted their whole life into Dharma, however materialistic they are very poor. But I can see from their face they are really enjoy the suffering because they can spread Dharma. Like Tsem Rinpoche, Rinpoche want to benefit all of us then Rinpoche stayed in Malaysia.
In fact, Rinpoche like monastery life than the life in busy city. The message Rinpoche sent out is if I think I am at very badly condition to do Dharma work, how about others??? Some of them sacrifice their family, reputation, career and fame because they just want to do Dharma. It is not easy for a person give up their attachment and desires to do Dharma. Because all of us not Buddha yet.
Always remind our-self, we are the most lucky one who can do Dharma without any threaten, disagreement, against and fighting. My sharing is let’s do it, no matter what happen and don’t give up so easily.
Yeah… my parents are not too happy with the idea of me getting too deeply involved with Dharma. However, they are still kind to me, despite the fact that I have been rather a ‘disapointment’, especially to my dad.
What Rinpoche went through, I can’t even imagine for a second that my mind can withstand it if i was placed in such a situation…
I suppose, when parents disagree with their kids about something, it’s because deep down they have fear. Just like how parents wont allow their kids to walk alone in fear they will be kidnapped… same with being in Dharma… Parents just fear their kids will get lost in a path less travelled, so they just want us to copy what most successful people have already done.
They also wish for us to be happy… but what is happiness really? Isn’t it the feeling of contentment rather than the chase of wealth and fame? Happiness has to come from within and what better way to train that than to dedicate life doing Dharma… I do not blame them for not being entirely supportive, for they too have not experienced true happiness… and it is a child’s duty to bring the Dharma to their parents through their actions. Through such transformation, hopefully our parents may be able to see the true value of Dharma.
I’m always the very fortunate one. Since I was a kid, my mum always brought me Buddhist temple for prayer, at the time I already have a very strong imprint of taking refuge to the three jewels although I didn’t really understand the meaning of it.
;that is a time, I told my mum that I may become monk one day. She didn’t stop me but rejoice for me.
Today I met Rinpoche, and pastors which facilitated my dharma learning to a deeper level. No one stop me becoming vegetarian, even they enjoyed having vegetarian reunion dinner with me this year
Compared to Rinpoche, my external obstacle of dharma practice is even much lesser so there is no reason for me not to go deeper in dharma. I’m so fortunate!!!
Thank you very much Rinpoche for your compassion, hardwork and love which have benefited so many beings.
VP
My family is not very supportive for my decision to work for Dharma full time. They think it is not a proper job because I will not be earning a lot. They think I can do better out there and I disappointed them by making this decision. I do not blame them because they do not understand what Dharma is, I believe if I transform myself enough, they will slowly understand what Dharma really is.
I am lucky because despite my decision, my family did not disown me, they did not tell me to change my job. Rinpoche is a very good example for all of us, be persistent, be consistent and never give up Dharma. Our friends and family might not supportive now, but they will eventually.
Dear Rinpoche, it is very painful when we did not get our parents support. I truly feels the pain when you go all the way for Dharma, become a monk and your parents against what you did. But i am sure one day they will understand and know your work have benefited soooooooo many people and other beings. I respect Rinpoche with folded hand, you are brave and compassionate and i heart you dear Rinpoche.
Much care.
HC
With a short paragraph, Rinpoche has communicated to us much courage. Rinpoche’s decision is huge, it has impact on his entire life. More preciously, it is to benefit others.
It is hard to go against the flow. Who dare to stand up to say what is opposite of the common? Many times, most if not all are more likely to agree with the common than to say otherwise. We dont want to offend ppl and invite troubles.
Our lives is short, my life is short. I do not think it is wise to follow what others say is right. I listen, I think and I decide myself.
It’s very hard to convince people on what we are doing is right and ok. People evaluate the success based on the ideas they have in mind, which normally imposed by the society.
In spiritual journey, it is much more challenge to get people to understand the reasons that we have to act like this or that. Especially they don’t understand the reasons that you have to act this way and thus we need to spend times to explain. The explanation is worth if triggered them to be in spiritual path too. Otherwise, it is just a waste of time and worst they could be thinking we are insane, and the explanation could be used by them to create insult, rumors and gossips.
I am motivated by H.E Tsem Rinpoche determination and consistency in doing dharma. H.E never leave dharma even in this harsh situation. It is so hard to get in touch in dharma life after life. But, H.E did it and show to us the determination. Even H.E have to pay the hard price, H.E still insist to be in dharma. I hopes I can have this determination, consistency, strong and brave in practicing dharma life after life.
Thank you Guru, for scarifying so much for showing us.
Many parents have different wishes for their children.They mean well but don’t always have the wisdom to know what’s best, myself included. Many Buddhist families would be overjoyed if their child were to become a Buddhist monk. One of my worries is that my son won’t even be a Buddhist as most of my family and his father are Atheist. I have taught him some mantras and his favourite is om mani padme hum. My parents think I’m ‘nuts’ ( crazy), strange at best for my Buddhist belief, but don’t try and stop me, which is great and I can see it from their point of view. I feel very lucky sometimes to have come across Buddhism, especially the law of course and effect which gives detailed instructions on what not to do and what to do and what will happen after your actions. ie don’t kill as you will have a short life and hell rebirth, don’t steel as you will be poor and hungry ghost rebirth. I only wish I had come across it sooner.
We are very fortunate to learn dharma here with our guru is so near to us. We should go all the way to do dharma and transform so that we can benefits many many others. This is a way of saying thank you to our guru with all his good efforts, even though he has gone thru the painful path all for us if not today we will not able to learn dharma.
Thank you guru for making such decision in life.
自己的生活自己过，没有人能代替你受苦，也没有人能代替你开心。
Rinpoche showed strong imprints of a dharma teacher in his previous lives.He can learned and studied Dharma text easily at a young age, he also liked to draw buddha pictures to give to relatives and friends,recites mantras do offerings to buddhas and served his gurus well.He’ll never give up dharma practice despite 100% against from his adopted parents.He finally managed to run away from home and did it the way he thought it should be done.Like what his natural mother has said before if the child is a reincarnated lama he’ll find his way.Now Rinpoche has found his way to the monastery and proven to be a highly reincarnated tulku despite so much pains and difficults in his early days and i believe Rinpoche will never ever give up dharma at the cost of his life!
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this blogpost as I have read it many times and it continues to inspire me to want to do Dharma for the rest of my life. It is a choice I have made, though to the disappointment of my family. Although my parents are very against me doing what I am doing, I could never imagine what Rinpoche had to endure, to fight to pursue a path that is so “foreign” to our parents. Therefore, Rinpoche’s perseverence, commitment, and determination to want to do/study/follow the Dharma has made me, to my best ability, follow in suit.
Our parents are not to blame, as it is out of love and worry for the child. Most parents have not been down this route before, and therefore if their kids do, they are worried because they don’t know what it will result in, what it entails. Their only gauge of success is what other “successful, wealthy businessmen/women” are doing and have “achieved”, and what they themselves and others around them have done throughout their lives. If the child follows their path, it comforts them, for they know what it will bring – they are already in the position, that is all they know, they can judge and relate to it. But, is that really the only path to happiness and success?
Ultimately, in the minds of the parents and the child, what is success? Has following the route that most people know and are doing, brought success AND happiness in their lives or is it merely a reflection of ideals and social norms? To me, there is no way to repay the love of your parents, but to be a better person, to not have to depend on your parents AT ALL, not burden or worry them, to care for and take care of the parents, respect and honour them, to bring happiness to others, be generous, kind, humble, giving – and that is developed through the Dharma.
Thank you, Rinpoche, for showing me the other path to happiness, and for giving me everything I have now. I am not afraid, for I see the result of Dharma, the path so foreign to many, in you. This result far exceeds what we could ever achieve in a job that otherwise only pays you.
I think that Rinpoche is doing what was his calling, imagine if we also had callings (worldly) in nature and we are asked to no to follow them and instead the wishes that makes no sense or our inclinations at all how difficult would it be for us. And to engage in dharma is get in touch with the highest knowledge in the universe, the wish fulfilling gem for all that we need.
My parents were also against me doing Dharma last time. Being consistent and my perseverance showed them I am here to stay. Reading Rinpoche’s story is the best example anyone can have. I will let my parents ‘see’ how wonderful it is to be where I am!
Many parents want the kids live their life according to their version of happiness. I experienced this within my circle of friends, they were curious or surprised when I made my choice of career or rather they do not understand purpose of dharma work.
In surface, dharma work means nothing to some of people, I made my choice and
“I DID WHAT I WANTED, AND I CONTINUE TO…”