Uncle Lai
Uncle Lai joined Kechara a few years back. He had many spiritual questions and many went unanswered for years. When his son joined Kechara, his son would share the many things he had learned at Kechara with his dad in the evenings. They would sit together to talk, exchange views and ponder. Uncle Lai really liked what the son shared with him. He didn’t feel his son was pushy or forcing any views on the dad but felt love, concern and care for the dad in the sharings…. It was a simple sharing of dharma between father and son. It was evenings every parent and child would enjoy together exchanging views on deeper things in life… You see father and son have a very good relationship and they love each other very much.
One day Uncle Lai decided to visit Kechara. He liked what he saw and stayed. Gradually Uncle Lai realized he wanted to keep busy, do something useful and participate in the collection of merits. Uncle Lai volunteered to do various jobs over the last few years. Whatever he volunteered to do, he would do it and no excuses. Gradually everyone in Kechara realized what a honourable man Uncle really is. He speaks little, works hard, never criticizes, very diligent. Once he’s checked something out and he makes his decisions, he just goes all the way with it with no more doubts. He checks things out thoroughly at first though as Uncle Lai is a sharp man…
He didn’t come to Kechara to solve his problems, or to get money, or want to make connections, find friends for socializing, want a quick fix or wanted a miracle to repair any huge mistakes he has done in the past. He came to understand spirituality more..to incorporate spirituality into his life and to be happier in his golden years. Senior people like Uncle Lai are just as useful and productive as anyone else and Uncle Lai is a shining example of this. You do not hear him complain or make excuses. With Uncle Lai, what you see is what you get. He is straightforward, easy and very pragmatic. Yes is yes and no is no. But Uncle Lai is also very gentle and very good mannered for lack of a better phrase. You never have to remind or chase Uncle Lai for whatever he has agreed to do… He doesn’t promise and then disappoint you. He has integrity. Without integrity how can we be spiritual leave alone be enlightened? Dharma practice or being spiritually attuned to yourself and others is not disappointing others. Not disappointing others because you didn’t forget and you went all the way without reminders. This will open others to their spirituality. Why? Because then they will listen to what you have to say because you do what you say. What you say is what you do. Never underestimate integrity. It will take you a long way. In the higher tantras, any success or attainments will depend on your words of honour, vows or simply your integrity. What you have vowed and promised at the time of initiation should be honoured for the rest of your life. To go for any higher practices, practicing integrity now in daily ‘ordinary’ situations with everyone around you is of utmost importance…
Uncle Lai has volunteered to be part of the team that cleans our beautiful Kechara Gompa weekly. He diligently does so without any prompting or reminders. Uncle Lai is one of those elderly people that carry the name elder very well. We should respect elderly people for their lifetime of experience, work and wisdom in general. I am sorry to say, there are elderly people difficult to respect, even still we just let them be.. We should respect the seniors and be attentive to them. With Uncle Lai it is easy to respect. He may be a simple man, but heroes are simple…they make you believe you can be better…You can see Uncle Lai in the picture above lovingly and caringly dusting off the sacred statue of Setrap in Kechara Gompa.
Personally I respect Uncle Lai very much. I like him very much and care about him. It warms my heart to no end to see him involved in Kechara, because the merits accrued from his dharma work will do very well for Uncle Lai in this life and future lives. I want Uncle Lai to be ok in this life and future lives. I sincerely do.. I have no power to do this for him, but the merits from the Dharma work he does will help him. The Dharma work he has taken refuge in will do him very well and for that I am dancing inside my heart for him…
I was told a few times, since meeting Kechara and getting involved, Uncle Lai has been much lighter and much happier. Sweet music to my ears to know he is much happier…. He is no longer at home in the kitchen just thinking by himself. He is active, has purpose and very much a respected member of Kechara House. All senior citizens deserve activity, love, respect and purpose. Their kids may have grown, but the parents are just the same, they need activity and purpose just like anyone else. Uncle Lai and what he does has nothing to do with being a senior citizen but everything to do with being a wonderful human being who is one of the precious people in Kechara you don’t hear much about but work just as hard as people you do hear about. But that does not mean Uncle Lai and many like him in Kechara is not a HERO. Uncle Lai is one of the heroes of Kechara. Without people like Uncle Lai, Kechara would not be what it is today….Uncle Lai is a hero…a hero in life and hero of Kechara.
I want to say I really care about Uncle Lai from the bottom of my heart. I am proud and genuinely happy to be a part of his life. I want to work for the rest of my life with Uncle Lai.
Thank you Uncle Lai for being who you are…..
Humbly, Tsem Rinpoche
If you know Uncle Lai, have been touched by his sincerity or interacted with him, do drop your thoughts here in comments to share with Uncle Lai…thanks..
Dear Rinpoche,
As one of the newer overseas members of Kechara, I get to interact with other Kechara members when I am in Kuala Lumpur. I do know Uncle Lai even if he may not know me. The first time I “met” him was when he very kindly gave my nephew Nicholas Lee and myself a ride home late one evening after the Setrap puja. He is not a man of many words but is unfailingly gracious and courteous. He together with Uncle Eddie is one of the mainstays and familiar faces I expect to see whenever I am in the Gompa. I love the fact that he is so involved with activities at Kechara and provides a steady and calming influence in the midst of the sometimes frantic energy of the wonderful young people.
He is an example of what I would like to be when I get to his age – a person who keeps his word and quietly accomplishes what he sets out to do and stays involved with helping out in his individual way.
May he and others like him be well and be blessed in every way in this life and all future lives.
Thank you Rinpoche,for writing such a beautiful article on Uncle Lai. I have a lot of respect for Uncle Lai, as I have known him to be a most down to earth person, humble and hardworking man. He and his wife has brought up a wonderful son David and I have always admired their relationship as one that is very loving and deep care for one another. Uncle Lai can be seen always helping out cleaning the Gompa and keeping active all the time. There is much we can learn from Uncle Lai and his valuable contributions to Kechara and may he be blessed by the Buddhas always.
Uncle Lai is amazing for many reasons. However, these are the main two reasons I’d like to share here.
1) As a father – he has willingly put aside his own ideas of what was right or wrong and allowed his son to find his own way. When Uncle Lai witnessed the transformation his son experienced under Rinpoche’s guidance, Uncle Lai supported his son all the way. To the point of getting involved in Kechara himself now.
2) As a Dharma friend – Uncle Lai is always helpful and very gracious. Uncle Lai will humbly do the lowest of jobs, be it cleaning an altar or moping the toilet in the center – to Uncle Lai, he is serving the Dharma and that is always supreme. Hence, Uncle Lai does these cleaning with a sense of pride because he understands it is his privilege and honour to be doing any Dharma work.
It is a real joy and privilege to know Uncle Lai. He is always smiling and very caring. Most of all, he truly loves his son for who his son is, not for what he thinks his son should be. That’s huge in my books.
Thank you, Uncle Lai.
Yes, I do love Uncle Lai!! He really is a hero to us for showing us what we can all be and how much we can each contribute at every stage in our life. If Uncle Lai, who is older than me and retired can contribute in such a loving and meaningful way to the centre, then there is no excuse for me, or any of us who still have more energy and youth on our side to not do more (sorry, I don’t mean any disrespect to Uncle Lai in saying this… )
What Rinpoche said is so true about Uncle Lai never saying a bad word, never causing any difficulties. On the contrary, he is always ready with a smile, never too busy or in a hurry to stop and say hello to you, address you by name and give you a big smile. He takes notice of everyone who comes his way and he genuinely and sincerely wants to wish them a good day by saying a simple hello. It’s a simple gesture but such an important reminder to each of us that as we rush around in the day, we forget the simplest but most meaningful things.
Thank you Uncle Lai, I fold my hands to you _/|\_
I really like how pleasant Uncle Lai is. He’s very calm, reserved but hardworking. He would help in any way that he can, and he doesn’t complain.
Seeing him clean the Ladrang’s altar, he’s a pretty fit man!! He can climb and wipe things around without getting tired easily. He has really good concentration as well.
You’re an awesome old man, Uncle Lai!
I don’t know Uncle Lai – but reading this made me smile on the
inside. diamonds are few and far between – thank-you for being
who you are. .
I and my daughter Cherie had the opportunity to clean up the gompa when we decided to spend one whole Monday in Kechara while in KL. There we met Uncle Lai whom diligently guide us how to clean the 3 statues and my 10 years old daughter volunteered to go up. It is great meeting Uncle Lai.
I like Uncle Lai and respect him very much. He is sincere, simple and easy to get along with. I learned how to set up altars from Uncle Lai in KH2. On days when I had to buy offerings for the Setrap puja, Uncle Lai would be there to set up the altar and he would let me help him. He would ask me to pour the milk , the tea or the beer. I think he wanted me to collect merits.
Uncle Lai is setting very good examples of how senior citizens can use their time to benefit others. He always helps in any event in Kechara, even distributing brochures at pasar malam. Like Rinpoche says, Uncle Lai just does what needs to be done.
There are some younger people who asked what dharma work they can do. Follow what Uncle Lai is doing. Your effort is important to Kechara, the people we are reaching out to, and to yourself.
Thank you, Uncle Lai, for setting the stage for others to emulate.
Thanks Rinpoche for sharing this, i respect Uncle Lai very much also.
My first experience with Uncle Lai was during the stage play Legend of Conch Shell, he played as Rendawa (one of Lama Tsongkapa’s Guru) in the play. He is a very friendly, kind and simple man.
Even he only have 3 scenes, he practiced well and very serious about it. I remember the scene where Tsongkapa is leaving his Guru,and sang Rendawa a praise, and Rendawa sang Migsema back to Tsongkapa. Every time i watch that scene, i was in tears, it’s very touching. Swee Keong, who play as Tsongkapa praised Uncle Lai for that scene. Swee Keong said he really feel like a son leaving a father.
Howie and me were incharged to ‘take care’ Uncle Lai, mainly because he was not wearing spec on the stage, when the scene finished we stand by at back stage to hold his hand and walk in the dark. Then we run to changing room, help Uncle Lai put on another clothes as the next scene he played as a Tibetan who does prostrations. He’s so cute, never complain, and we enjoy participating the play very much!
Sometimes he will tell me some Dharma stories. I remember he asked me “Do you know what does peacock represent in Buddhism?” And he explained how peacock can’t be poisoned, just like a Bodhisattva, he recommend me to read .
I thank him very very much, he inspired me to do more.
May Uncle Lai always in good health, happy and long life!!
I respect uncle Lai very much. He sets a very good example in practicing dharma.
Always see him volunteer in KH various events, he smiles a lot but talks less…thanks uncle Lai !
Uncle Lai is one of the first persons I know when I joined Kechara in 2006 and he is one of the people who made me feel very comfortable with the organisation. He is the one who did all the setup of offerings on the altar before each puja and the last to leave after the puja. He had to clean up and lock up the prayer hall. He does his work without fuss and has no anger. Never seen that in him. Reminds me of my dearest departed father! Uncle Lai has my utmost respect. With folded hands I bow to you!
Yes, Uncle Lai is indeed one of KH’s unsung heroes ! I admire his quiet resolve and steely determination in whatever that is, he sets out to do . He definitely earned my respect as an elder. And no one could have described his qualities better than Rinpoche himself. Excellent !
I have known Uncle Lai for many years. Uncle Lai is a man of few words and very soft spoken. He doesnt complain or cause any difficulties. Whatever work he is committed to do, he will do it diligently with love and care.
May we all be able to enjoy our old age like Uncle Lai serving the dharma. Thank you, Rinpoche, for sharing the beautiful article with us and Thank you, Uncle Lai, for showing us what dharma work is all about.
When I first join Kechara in 2007, I was virtually alone as I have no friends or relatives in Kechara. It was madam Lim Han Nee that helps me through my initial period by inviting me to participate in some of the KH activities and patiently explain to me about KH and reasons that why we do protector practice. I always think of her as my guide in this uncharted land.
As I get to volunteering in more activities, it was Uncle Lai that I relied on to even until today.
I love’s to tag and team up with him on any jobs, as he is man with few words and only focused on getting jobs done. It is only praises that he uttered at the end of the day when job done.
It is this good quality of him I always admire and try to emulate.
I am really glad that my dad met the Dharma and I even happier that he has found so much meaning in practicing the Dharma. I am really proud and happy for him. Right from the beginning when I discussed the Dharma with him, I didn’t have to convince him too much. He naturally had an inclination to think deep and loved Rinpoche’s teachings because it answers a lot of questions. One day, he told me that he truly admire Rinpoche because he is such a great leader.
Uncle Lai, you may not know but you are an inspiration to many. You come with an open heart, no mind games and you are here at Kechara solely for your spirituality.
I had the good fortune to work with you for the renovation of KH2 back in 2007. You are such a wonderful and sincere person.
I have much respect for you for being who you are.
I’m so happy I clicked on this article on a whim. Thank you Uncle Lai, for being an inspiration to so many people.
Dear Rinpoche,
Thank you for this very heartwarming post on Uncle Lai.To me, he is like a mountain, unshakable in his sense of responsibility. He is so quiet and unassuming that one can literally not realize his presence. But it is because of this – his going around doing the cleaning of KH gompa. altars and statues so quietly but purposefully and mindfully – that makes him an inspiration to all. He projects Dharma in action. He makes all, especially elderly members of Kechara, feel we can still make our lives meaningful in Dharma work whatever shape this takes.